Going On Vacation

To my millions...and millions of readers - my lovely wife and I are taking off for Ft. Lauderdale, FL, in about 8 hours for a little vacation action. We will be meeting up with Jason & Jaime Hayden and Scott Krueger and attending the Hawks vs. Heat NBA game on Monday, the Twins vs. Yankees MLB game on Tuesday, the Cardinals vs. Orioles MLB game on Wednesday, and the Cardinals vs. Marlins MLB game on Thursday. So yeah, pretty exciting stuff.

In other blog-related news, I am about to wrap up the book on Elijah written by A.W. Pink - finally! What seemed like such a small task when I bought the book turned out to be a rather lengthy endeavor. For my next on-the-side book reading, I think I'm going to go with this one: "Overcoming Sin & Temptation," which is really three remastered works by John Owen. I'm pretty excited about it, for perhaps once I'm finished with this book, I'll have a better grasp on fighting the sin that plagues my mortal wretched flesh. Anyway, I'm taking this book with me as I go. That's all I have for now, and I doubt I post any in the next ten days.

More Than Watchmen For The Morning

Psalm 130:5-6 - "I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in his word I hope; my soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen for the morning, more than watchmen for the morning."

If you have been reading this blog very long (or if you just know me well), you'll know that it was right about a year ago when my wife and I lost our first child early on in the pregnancy, finding out on the day of the first ultrasound that our baby had no detectable heartbeat. I wrote about it last October on the child's due date. For a couple who really wanted to have a child, it's been a difficult year. My wife's thyroid went haywire sometime in the last year or so, and her body has been on a hormone roller coaster for sometime now. Nearly everyone we knew had babies. For 6 consecutive months (August, September, October, November, December, and January), my wife was anywhere between 2-5 days late, giving us false hope and reason to buy pregnancy test after pregnancy test, all with the same results...negative. As a big sports fan of the Minnesota Vikings and Illinois Fighting Illini, I have gotten used to disappointment...in fact, I have actually come to expect it. Unfortunately, this attitude can sometime overlap into other areas of life. It's not as painful to expect disappointment compared to getting your hopes up only to have them crushed. Though I hate to admit it, I was about done with the whole trying to get pregnant thing when the new year came around. Then I ran into the 21st chapter of my Elijah book. A.W. Pink examines 7 characteristics of Elijah's prayer for rain in 1 Kings 18 - 1.) He withdrew from the crowds to pray. 2.) His posture was one of great humility. 3.) His prayer was based on a divine promise. 4.) His prayer was definite and to the point. 5.) His prayer was fervent. 6.) His prayer was a great demonstration of watchfulness. 7.) He persevered in his supplication. I'm about to make a really long post, but I wanted to stress this seventh point. "And he said to his servant, Go up now, look toward the sea. And he went up, and looked, and said, There is nothing." "'Nothing': nothing in the sky, nothing arising out of the sea to intimate the approach of rain. " This is how I felt every month...but Elijah didn't give up there...in fact, it took 7 looks until even a cloud as small as a man's hand was seen. Needless to say, when I read through this chapter, which was about a month and a half ago, I put down the book, got on my knees and asked God for a child, but in a different way than before. Now I'm not one to say that a person's amount of faith determines God's answers to prayer, but I think that as a Christian, one needs to accept that God does right, even when the answer is no. For the first time I think I realized that though the answer may be yes, even Elijah, who makes me look all the more rotten, had to wait to get the answer he knew was coming!

On March 5th, bright and early in the morning, my wife woke me up with the simple words, "Eric, I'm pregnant!" I hardly knew what to say (probably since I was still asleep). I had been dreaming that night of three different women that I knew who were pregnant in the dream. I think I uttered something like "how about that" and went back to sleep, as a man in no need to jump for joy at the moment but to simply relax in the moment that our God is good.

Now I could've made this post really short...saying 'Whitney is pregnant, praise God, pray for us!,' but that's not my style. I want to write about it because I don't always verbalize a lot of what I think. Now what?

For starters, we are both extremely excited but afraid at the same time. Still not knowing if Whitney's body can fully handle a child, we dread the thought of bringing another fetus into the world that may not live a day out of the womb. I am petrified deep inside at the possible disappointment that I've come to expect in life. I've told a couple of friends who've gone through a miscarriage more than once that I cannot imagine their pain. I can't. We wrestled again and again with what to say about our situation. Do we tell the family? What about friends? Should we wait until after the first ultrasound? What if we jinx the situation by saying something too soon? Well...let me go on record in saying that I don't believe in jinxes. I believe in a sovereign God who holds all things in his grip and who works all things for the good of those who love him. This same God allows and even ordains his beloved to go through numerous pains and sufferings, all for a greater purpose that we may not be able to see. Did I take the first pregnancy for granted? Sure I did. Of course, I knew the possibility of a miscarriage existed, but it didn't occur to me that it would happen to us. The things I have learned are priceless. I have a greater appreciation for the miracle of life. I have a greater dependence on God as the giver and sustainer of all life. So why not tell everyone we are pregnant again? We've got a great group of friends and family who supported us the first time and will be glad to do so again. Why profess a belief in a truly sovereign God, the captain of our salvation, if we don't live it out? Let's be thankful for the blessings God gives us whether they are short lived or not. For now, I no longer want to hold back the joy I have for the fear of the unknown. This is not basketball. Sure, it's a given that Illinois will blow a 10 point lead with 4 minutes to go, but God has created life from nothing - and he has given this life to us to cherish, pray for, and protect. I shall do so.

Hmm...you think it's a coincidence that we had 6 false alarms before going back the 7th time to find out God had provided...just like Elijah? Ha, coincidence...a funny thing...does it even exist? I laugh at coincidence and hope that my wife lets me name our first son Elijah. And God willing, we'll get that chance in early November. Thanks so much for your prayers.

Some Lyrics To Munch On

I'm currently working on being more consistent in my blogging. So here's another lunchtime post. These posts won't be nearly as long or thought out, but at least it gets me doing something with my lunchtime other than going to websites like this one or that one or this other one over here. I'm having a great day at work so far, meeting my weekly goal by 8:12 AM on Monday morning. Perhaps I just got lucky...but what is luck anyway? Anyway, I was listening to some hymns, and one in particular got my attention: "The Gospel Brings Tidings" by Red Mountain Music on their Album "Help My Unbelief." This song was written by William Gadsby, and the music was written by Brian T. Murphy and Clint Wells in 2005.

The gospel brings tidings, glad tidings indeed,
To mourners in Zion, who want to be freed,
From sin and Satan, and Mount Sinai's flame,
Good news of salvation, through Jesus the Lamb.

What sweet invitations, the gospel contains,
To men heavy laden, with bondage and chains;
It welcomes the weary, to come and be blessed,
With ease from their burdens, in Jesus to rest.

For every poor mourner, who thirsts for the Lord,
A fountain is opened, in Jesus the Word;
Their poor parched conscience, to cool and to wash,
From guilt and pollution, from dead works and dross.

A robe is provided, their shame now to hide,
In which none are clothed, but Jesus is bride;
Though it be costly, yet is the robe free,
And all Zion's mourners, shall decked with it be.

Join me today in rejoicing that we indeed wear a robe that hides all of our guilt and shame. Though it cost a lot of Christ to provide it, it is simply free for us.

Random Lunch Thoughts

For the first time in The Heavy-Laden's history, I am posting a message during my lunch, which I hope to keep under 15 minutes. I don't have a whole lot to write about at the moment (nor do I have the time), but I figured that a short random post is better than nothing at all.

Last weekend I went to see the movie Amazing Grace, the story of William Wilberforce and his multi-year fight to abolish the British slave trade. This movie is excellent. I recommend it without hesitation. There is also a lot of spiritual content as well, and even the great hymn writer John Newton makes a lengthy appearance in the movie. It was a very moving movie with a lasting impact...please go see it!

Some of the folks from Red Mountain Music came to visit our church this weekend. Outstanding. The lead vocals were handled by Ashley Spurling, and if you are familiar with their music, you'll know that she's probably the best hymn singer in the whole world. She busted out "There is a Fountain Filled with Blood," one of my all-time favorite hymns, for the offering time.

I don't even think I mentioned that Derek Webb and Sandra McCracken came to visit church a month ago. Outstanding as well. Sandra performed "Grace Upon Grace" during the offering, and that was better live than on the CD, if that's even possible.

Great stuff going on...I need to do some more hymn spotlights. I have a few in mind that I haven't done yet. Just have to find the time! With fantasy baseball and the college basketball tourney starting up, it'll be hard! But bear with me. I also have some really good news to write about and another letter to my rehabilitating friend to write soon.

Even Elijah Had Bad Days

Had a bad day lately? I know I've had a few. Man, I have hardly posted at all in the last three or four weeks. I've just really lacked the thirty or so minutes of free time at night it takes to put up an intelligent post. But not tonight. I just finished reading the 25th chapter in A.W. Pink's book on the life of Elijah. So most of what I type tonight is fresh on my mind, with all credit going to Pink.

Elijah had a bad few days that I don't hear discussed in Bible studies or sermons or Christian circles at all really, probably because his bad couple of days (or perhaps much longer) take up so little of the Bible. Most of what we read on Elijah portrays a positive light on him as one saint definitely worth looking up to. But 1 Kings 19 paints a different story. After Elijah's great triumph over the prophets of Baal and after praying earnestly for rain, Elijah falls apart spiritually when threatened by Jezebel. Her threat scared him silly -- he didn't pray for guidance, didn't stand strong amongst adversity -- no he "was afraid, and he arose and ran for his life." Then he asked the Lord to take away his life. How distressed and downcast must his soul have been at this time to plead for the very death that he was afraid of in the first place! Pink does a wonderful job of expanding this and making a lot of sense of the situation, but it is truly remarkable that this is the same Elijah of 1 Kings 18.

What I want to make clear is not the fact that even the great Elijah had bad days -- and we should pat ourselves on the back and compare ourselves to him. Not at all. That's just not my style. What I want to make crystal clear is the mercy and love of God shown here in the rest of the story. God's anger could have burned against his servant for being so weak and running from danger. God could have granted Elijah his request for death. But what did God do instead? He sent an angel to Elijah's rescue and provided him with a freshly baked cake and a jar of water.

So Elijah immediately jumped up, worshiped God, and got back on the right track, right? Not quite. "And he ate and drank and lay down again." Ha! How often are we like that? We're a mess, God gives us mercy, we eat, we drink, and without thanksgiving, we just lay down again. So the angel of the Lord had to come a second time, this time with possibly the greatest chocolate cake ever made -- for whatever he fed Elijah with made him arise and kept him fed for forty days and forty nights.

What's the moral of the story? Sure, even God's best servants have bad days and do sinful things. And when we ourselves fall victim to temptation and fail to fight off the wicked flesh of our own bodies, let us turn back to God and not lose hope. For God's mercy is great and bigger than we can imagine. After all, it wasn't after Elijah defeated the prophets of Baal that an angel made him a cake, it was when he was out of the will of God, running for his life and asking for death at the same time. Let us seek the mercy of God when our souls our downcast, and let us receive his love and gifts and use them to strengthen us to go forth and do his will.